How to Prevent Being Hijacked by Your Emotions: DBT’s PLEASE Skill
When intense emotions take over, even simple moments can feel overwhelming. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches that emotions aren’t problems to eliminate, but responses we can learn to manage more skillfully so they don’t control us.
One powerful set of tools in DBT’s emotion regulation module are the PLEASE skills. These skills help you reduce your vulnerability to intense emotional reactions by taking care of your body and basic physical needs, because when your body is out of balance, emotions often follow suit.
What Are DBT PLEASE Skills?
PLEASE is an acronym that stands for:
Physical Lllness — Take care of any medical or physical health needs.
Balanced Eating — Fuel your body with nourishing meals.
Avoid mood-altering substances — Minimize or avoid substances that significantly alter mood.
Sleep — Get enough restorative sleep on a regular schedule.
Exercise — Move your body in ways that support your overall health.
Together, these skills reduce vulnerability to emotional distress by creating a stronger physical foundation, making it less likely that stress will hijack your thoughts and behaviors.
Why Physical Care Matters for Emotional Regulation
Emotions do not occur in a vacuum they are influenced by our bodies. When you’re exhausted, hungry, sick, or over-stimulated by substances, your stress responses become more intense and harder to regulate.
Think of PLEASE skills as emotional “first aid”: basic care that reduces vulnerability to challenging emotions.
Breaking Down Each PLEASE Skill
P L= Treat Physical Illness
If we’re sick, in pain, or ignoring medical needs, emotional resilience diminishes. Seeing a doctor, following treatment plans, and acknowledging physical limitations are all part of strengthening your emotional foundation.
E = Balanced Eating
Skipping meals, eating only sugar or caffeine, or having inconsistent eating patterns can create emotional instability. Eating regularly and nourishing your body supports mood regulation and overall energy.
A = Avoid Mood-Altering Substances
Alcohol, drugs, and even excessive caffeine or nicotine can disrupt emotional balance and make stressful situations harder to cope with. Reducing mood-altering substances helps maintain clearer thinking and emotional stability.
S = Sleep
Regular, quality sleep is vital. Poor sleep affects memory, concentration, stress tolerance, and emotional reactivity. Cultivating healthy sleep routines like consistent bedtimes and routines that calm your nervous system( lays the groundwork for emotional regulation) .
E = Exercise
Movement isn’t only about fitness. It’s about releasing stress, boosting mood chemicals, and supporting physical brain health. Even light movement like walking or stretching can shift your stress response and reduce emotional tension.
How PLEASE Helps
When you regularly apply PLEASE skills, you decrease your vulnerability to emotional overwhelm. Rather than reacting impulsively when stress hits, you’re more likely to stay grounded and choose intentional behaviors that align with your values and goals.
In other words, PLEASE skills help keep your body ready so your mind has a fighting chance, especially during emotional storms.
Real-Life Examples
Here are simple, everyday applications of PLEASE skills:
Begin your day with a nourishing breakfast, even if it’s something small, rather than skipping meals until later in the day.
Limit screen time at least one hour before bed and try to keep your bedtime and wake-up time consistent, including on weekends.
Incorporate movement into your routine, gradually working your way up to about 20 minutes of exercise per day.
Establish a regular sleep schedule, and consider reaching out to your primary care provider if you’re experiencing ongoing sleep difficulties, as sleep concerns might be cause by medical issues.
Schedule routine medical checkups to support your overall well-being instead of waiting until pain or symptoms become severe.
Even small, consistent changes in these areas make it easier to manage stress and keep your emotional reactions within a healthy range.
Closing Thoughts
Emotions are informative. Not enemies. But when your physical state is out of balance, emotions can take over, making even minor stressors feel overwhelming. DBT PLEASE skills teaches you to care for the body that holds your mind, reducing emotional vulnerability so you keep control of your reactions rather than letting emotions control you.
If you’re interested in strengthening your emotional regulation skills further, consider exploring other DBT tools with your therapist.
References
Dialectical Behavior Therapy. (n.d.). ABC PLEASE: DBT skills, worksheets, videos, exercises. Retrieved from https://dbt.tools/emotional_regulation/abc-please.php
Reducing vulnerability to emotion mind: PLEASE skills. (n.d.). DBT Skills Training Handouts PDF. Retrieved from https://in.nau.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/202/PLEASE-skills.pdf
PLEASE skill overview. (n.d.). Choosing Therapy DBT PLEASE Skill Worksheet and summary. Retrieved from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/therapy-worksheets/dbt-please-skill-worksheet/
